i tried

i tried so hard
to make the moans that
that she would stangled on to
settled deers by a keypad
as her hands would electrocute.

moisturising cream
moisturising cream
moisturising cream
moisturising cream.

a bendyman who is a cataract
climbs up the ropes
gets rope burn
the crme-de-la-crme
a murder of crows
a black cat across the path.

moisturising cream
moisturising cream
moisturising cream
moisturising cream.

i don't think too much (moisturising cream)
i just feel too much (moisturising cream)
i want to hold the mouse (moisturising cream)
i need to get a glimpse (moisturising cream)
a message other than on my ansaphone (moisturising cream).

videotape

realising that at the end of the day it is red blue and green. nothing more and nothing less. i guess it must all that waking up with the right idea of where the day will go. no not the toilet. and no lets not put that in the washing machine. the suds will make it cakey.

a pseudoreality is oncoming traffic.

cut the kids in half

mirrors are a detail. the simple patient on a sunday drive. want to slow but there is never a time. strapped in the back seat spluttering. a weekend chore on a weekend. should be a weekday chore. clean up messes. provided moddlicoddling. what for? what fur? i guess it is all a part of the contract. i never signed.

maybe deleted.

maybe just underneath a pile of old newspapers.

in the drawer where the secrets are kept.

in the confit of monkeys brains.

little do i know that fathering will kill me. yet i view it with googling eyes. i want. but i don't. i don't understand this doublespeak. i cannot ever make out what it means. must be double dutch. lost in translation. skimming rocks on the estuary. buried in the woods. screaming out of the woods. crime must have been committed. little do we know. little do i care. all i want is the brightness in the eyes. when the sky is just blue, perfect. naieve. i don't care. if it works tell me and i will not abstract further.

how did i end up like this?

kleptomaniac

claws of the underground. tearing out the foliciles. want to go to church, to regress the sins. simulate a liars portfolio. screaming out on the highway. toll. toll. toll. toll. toll. confession in a perspex box. showered with the high horses mane. golden hairs angelic and thin. scheming gets the part where i complain down. error of my ways. need to become a bit more accountable for how i am absolutely just stealing. that final compulsion to steal. may not be illegal version, but isn't the rape of civilisation enough to feel guilty about.

comatose in the toilet

the gambit in the spotlight. scared off the streetlights. comatose in the toilet. on the bowls edge. spewing my guts out. laughing anguish. stripped with the turpentine. the stomach lining disappears. the black fingers scribbling on your soul. away.

the subway is a riot act. a murky acid beaker. stables of dark horses with no golden manes. i am the black swan. wading to the top. peering for the last air. can i get it? opium opus. careless indecision. sticking out just for the rest. the black fingers tear you life away. you have no say.

house of cards ready to fall. i huff and i puff hard. my static panic. on the station, worms wimper. the black fingers tear me away.

frightened of dying out like the dinosaurs. got not release. pen on my paper sucks down the plughole. gaping wrists, where those iron chains were. gripping and rapping out. i waste. black fingers sparing your soul. deleted when you become inconvinent.

i am nothing but a puppet. a lighthouse keepers toy. a rattle in a cage. comatose in the toilet. flushing my soul along with the fecies and urine. left to just bang the doors. scream at injections. wipe my skin off foreign articles. blow dry my hands. leave it all. then behold the sequel.

if all is a sequel. then is there a part two to all involved. black fingers tearing the pages away. loose leaf, controlled by the rag and bone man. sweet sleep. just forget it all. dream it away. vanilla skies, stargaze, pillow drops of cloud nine. spare a thought for the real self in Africa. black fingers stealing the oppurtionities. away.

moon mall.moon trills.moon pills.moon fall.

sail to the moon. in the arks. perched high and hard against the silk screen sky. the starry dots are painted on. painted by legends who have painted on earth. passed on somewhere. in the void. making this all up here. in this moment. a pipe dream. considering that one of the here has left. without a phone call. a connection. this lack of substance is biting at my veins. aorta crumbling. don't want to say a word. a word i know will again make me ache. into the moon mall. is there therapy here? can i take rest? lick my wounds? get the salt out? the moon trills. its spineless laugh. have i become a joke? a mascot for humilation? just an old company mascot, maybe? take moon pills. will they soothe me into sweet sleep? do they work well? will they significantly risk my health? the moon falls. at this point there are no more questions to be asked. i just need to wake up.

on sunday ring road supermarket

the ring road. the cupboards have become bare. replacement of items that have dissappeared completely is the order of the day. scan thy barcode. scream thy numbers. price check in aisle 9. parents with out of control siblings in the same rivalry that this disestablishment has been built on. shelved. schizophrenia. decaffeinated. fat free. no preservatives. all will perish at the first sign of alzhemiers disease. juniors train and are robbed blindly by a suited man. the man thinks that this is the life. the carriage way to the heavens. robed aboved the rest seemingly looking down from a tower. leashing out the bargains. lures. traps. this is entrapment. tricks of the trade. it was a change in the way of doing business. dance you sucker. dance you sucker. latched on to the bait. now someones puppet. to be contorted. set into unwanted motions. made to feel the emptiest of feelings when missing out on the major product in everyones cupboards. get me out of here. the bleary scanners send me into deja vu. constantly it seems i get eaten alive. the innuendo. the omnipresence. the layered thought. a theme reoccuring. it seems that all around me have ulterior motives. plotting towards my demise. the fall would not be that flash. fly buys. for sale. specials. per the kilo. per the gram. inch by inch worshipping in aisles. disarray. dismay and a hell that is here on earth. a clone? a clone? a clone? a clone? a clone? another and another. everywhere around. to spread. everything in its right place. ready made to ensure that we are healthier. fitter. happier and more productive. like a pig in a cage on anti-biotics.

fog (again)

back in the same place. what is happening? groundhog day? everything is same. just dull as it was yesterday. why? who knows a secret to change everything everyday? making each day brighter than the other by doing more and more insane things. i don't know that this exists. well it is worth the everlasting dream. is it? but just tell yourself today when i wake up i am just getting so much better. waking with the new and improved you. if this sounds like a late night skin care commercial is because it is and i am endorsing a product. the product is called life. what? becoming stranded in a row boat. can i find my way back? is it my destiny? what is that anyway? but a fog (again) from the cracks in the concrete city. from the sewers, stench. a little liars instigating fights. living in a nirvana that is not peaceful. a lull that is the storm. want to become a test tube item. please make this happen. i am waiting in the catacombs with a smile and a gift card to the first who gives me that. oh no? oh no! emphasis placed in the wrong places. maybe it would be better if i just declared i am citizen insane and threw my bombshell at passing trains.

aidos amigos. a man being erased. on the sign out or in your terms signing off. (thought i was leaving heh!) tricked, i ain't going anywhere. going to drag you down with me. as i am sick and twisted.

house of cards (24 hour video retirement) - (sleepy willow)

there is a house of cards ready to fall. why? as 24/7 there is a scheme. failed but the subject will continue to pursue the everlasting dream. that of non-existance. shifting through channels with a remote. what will i find? oh look evangelists. that time of morning or night pending on the way you look at it. all i know is that i am tired. droopy eyed. but caffeine seizures stop me from pursuing dreams. again. falter. just want to create a pseudo reality. damn not again. pseudo. pseudo. pseudo. i am becoming a trend. predicatble and lollipop. oh no candy rots the teeth. dentures inevitable if i don't visit the dentist. but to get those i must. lost cause. smiling with gaps on a freeway to hell. what? why? how? mmmmmmmmmeh! want to be free like a pig. rolling in own filth. crackling for the ovens of the world. maybe one day. after naieve post modernism, the next ice age (as i will adapt), will i become this. faith, oh no i am proving populist and conforming to national standards.

morning has aborted

seems that everything is quiet now.

the sense that everything is in its right place is upon me. little do i know that there is a bugs a lurking through the sinew. alerted to their presence i stalk a patrol area. dimmed by acceptance speeches for critical acclaims. electric chair is purchased to mass produce a last supper. diarrohea. giarda and cyrptosporidium. squirmers in the stomach. the outcome does not look too well. believe that a hallmark card that comes across my desk is true, naieve, naieve, am i? the message that is carbon copied. shifted through hands like aid packages. but so disrupting. am i sentimentally handicapped? but sentiment always just ends up drivel. it is just useless. wastes a lot of time. time which could be spent down other avenues. avenues that bend in a suprising fashion. a fashion that gains you kudos. but fashion is garble. maple syrup on corn flakes. yes i said it. held to account. how will i ever make the repayments on the house. for sure this time it will be repossesed. what will i tell the wife and kids sitting in the lounge engaged in sesame seeded conversation. i will stop this pregnancy of these paws. like morning it will be aborted. i will never let it get to this. won't let it happen to my children. amen to that. settle down electric deer, the prices are settled.

hallitosis (the world is ruining the minute)

another thing to worry wart about. the world is already being ignorant now. maintaining ethical conduct, what? is this the marketplace we are in? ruin it and i will arrest you - karma police, foreign article in bones. as the trivial pursuits are killing me.

like films. is this the oblivion sought? questions with no answers. like a kid with father who isn't really his. what? insanity streak! guess so. in deduction mode on a highway. left high and dry like motorists in a jam. jam, not the jarred kind! can i have faith without narrowness? what? why? how? how? how? when? is there time? guess not.

foolish. pseudo something else. pseudo naieve? pseudo deep? oh no not again. stop using catch phrases, cliches and slogans. just bounty hunters stabbing you in the dark. don't care for it much. but comatose, i fall over in the gutter.

peep mmmmmmmmmmmore cookies, please!

brush cobwebs out of the sky arks that cannot fly see me running away from you away from hell into a pull/pulk revolving doors slipstreams and carefully laid plains.

this is all a social experiment.

in refigeration. the conceptualizing of an ideal being in a head, nothing else. stored for uselessness like dessert aisles.

on to something else..........

cars are dangerous. machines should not be trusted. i was struck by one. it hurt but i got to have morphine and have wires.

this is an example of that refigeration.
am i nothing but fridge buzz.
buzz! buzz! buzz! buzz! buzz! buzz! buzz! buzz!
take the moment and run can't i.

something else?

redseeing redanyway it has been a little weird when things change around like a jigsaw puzzle and the cans won't open with arthritic tongs, toes are also arthritic.release merelease me please.tables and figures don't make sense and all the food tastes interestingly bland and zests of life are ceremonied somewhere else.release merelease me please.park the car and hidepark the car and hiderun around all day longaround the furnitureand all is wellall is wellsleeping in packs of condensed milkrun aroundaroundaroundaround.put in the keys and confideput in the keys and confidehide.

the wings twitch.murders come up on the screen.zoot suits count the greenwaited all this timefor the bitter lime.

i hope you are ok.

wake me
wake up please.